One month and three days. That is how long Jenn and I lasted. One month and three days.
Last night, after work she came over. The night started with the infamous lines "we need to talk."
The key topic: age.
To be honest I always thought that I would be the first one to throw in the towel.
I was wrong.
In the end five years was to great for her (myself being 23 and she being 18). We were at a standstill, I did not want to go back to that age (as a side note I admire Toph on how well he interacts with that age group) and she did not want to jump into mine. I always thought it might work out, but after this past weekend I knew thing would be difficult.
Jenn is at that stage in life that we all went through, and most of us do not want to return to. Fresh out of High School and newly 18, the way she views the world is in the process of changing. Right now, some of her friends are moving away, getting married, joining the service, having children, and in some cases not changing at all. Every experience is new, getting drunk off of cheap beer and liquor because no parents are around, starting your own sexual discovery and identity, and deciding weather or not to enter college or the workforce. We all must go through this for this is what makes us who we are today.
Now I'm not advocating that I have figured out everything in my live, I'm just stating that I do not want to go back to that point. This weekend I saw what I left Loomis for, true childless. A group of people still stuck in the "guess who is dating who" and "guess who's fucking who" mentality of life. I saw how Jenn was struggling to give that life up for me, but in doing so I could see that she did not want to say goodbye.
Last night we parted ways. I will always care for her, she injected the joys of youth into my life. She told me that I showed her what the world has to offer, and in a couple of years she will be ready for a guy like me.
I know your reading this Jenn. I want you to know that you have touched my life. If I can tell you one last thing that would be to live life to the fullest. Understand that right now nothing is impossible. Don't let your friends walk all over you. Stand up for your self and never give up fighting for what you believe in. Realize that you are beautiful and you don't need artificial means to project that. You are entering a stage in your life that will have a lasting effect on how you perceive the world. Enjoy every moment of it, and smile while doing it.
One month, three days. Tick, tick, tick, single.
5 comments:
I admire your decision Blake, you just gained a notch on the life stick.
Blake, you are always so eloquent with your words. I think you are such a mature and perceptive person to be able and recognize those needs in others. I know these decisions can be tough, but congrats for being able to do the best for people, even if it means sacrificing some of yourself... its admirable, and not a quality that many possess.
And it was the best one month three days of my life.
Okay, so now you just sound like me ten months ago. I guess this is a post on living and learning. It sounds as if you've learned something and that's what life is. I could put my name, but you already know who this is. Oh yeah, thanks for the coffee.
The advice you gave in the last paragraph of your blog is very admirable. Most girls are hunting for someone just like....YOU. No matter what you're going through, remember that you have friends and family who will always be there for you. So it didn't work, you'll move on and so will she. You're a better person now than you were when you started a month and three days ago. Relationships, no matter how short, have that effect on us. You learn. You'll grow as a person with every challenge. Remember that there's always someone waiting around the corner to pick you up and get you back on your feet....
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