Thursday, December 14, 2006
As mentioned before it seems that everyone has someone, leaving me to wallow in my own loneliness. Stephanie has her fiance, Lizzy has her "husband," Jenn has her new boyfriend who is 25 (recall that she ended it because I was to old), David has his Nicole, and even Topher potentially has someone. But you know what, I may be hurting now (and God is it a gut wrenching pain), but I know the best is yet to come. I will be ok, who know what the future holds.
But one of the big highlights this month is two weeks ago I made a purchase that has changed not only my life, by my roommates as well: I bought a Wii.
Oh my God this is the worlds greatest gaming system. Wii Sports (the game it comes with) takes full advantage of its unique Wiimote. This controller is amazing. If you tend to get gutter balls when you bowl in real life, the Wiimote picks up how you throw the ball, and you tend to get gutter balls in the game. In baseball it picks up the power you put into the swing, as well as golf. Now boxing is the coolest of the games, you cover your face, your avatar (or Mii as they are called) blocks their face. You move, they move.
Yet the coolest function is the "virtual console," an online store that you access through the Wii (it has integrated WiFi) where you can buy games from the libraries of the following systems:
- Nintendo Entertainment System
- Super Nintendo
- Nintendo 64
- Sega Genesis
- NEC Tubrographx 16
So far I have downloaded Maro 64, Bonks Adventure, Sonic, Ecco the Dolphin, and the original Zelda.
Did I mention that it also plays GameCube games?
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Life is funny in the way that everything tends to come at you all at once. If you have been reading my blog you know how lonely I've been. What very few of you know is that I asked Jenn if she would take me back.
Her reply was "I don't know, I have all these guys liking me right now."
So what was I suppose to do, wait for her to make up her mind? I care for her so much that I told her not worry about me, and I started along the path of break-up recovery. I was doing fine till Toph called me at work.
"Blake," he said, ". . .Stephanie is getting married."
I went silent, I could not breath, my stomach was wrenched in pain. Suddenly every moment I spent with her over our two year relationship flashed before my eyes. Mexico, Hawai'i, Tahoe, every picture I took of her, the time she came down with me to visit my family, the pictures of her I have still up in my room, everything came rushing forward as if a mental dam that was holding everything back suddenly defaulted. Then the worst of it hit, how much I still care for her. Over the past month it was as if our friendship had grew anew. We were talking, having fun, going out to lunch together. I even helped her with a group project she had. I started thinking that maybe someday, someday, we might get back together. We were only broken up for 11 months, who knows what the future held. I guess I never really moved on.
Brittan said it best, "Even though the light at the end of the tunnel is getting dimmer, there is still light." I know I must move forward. . .I can't backtrack.
Steph, I wish you all the luck in the world. I love you then, and I love you now. Never ever forget that.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Here are the pictures from my Thanksgiving, nothing really formal, all just taken for fun.
Plus, I will have to admit that I have fallen in love with the Fruit of the Loom commercials. Here is my favorite one, please take a moment to enjoy.
Thanksgiving, a time to be with family, filled with good food and warm feeling towards each other, a holiday I enjoy every year. Except this year was different. For the first time in 9 years I have not had anyone come with me; for the first time since grade school I felt very, very alone. I found my self rushing up to Chico Friday morning not for work, but to be with someone. When I arrived I realized that there was no one waiting for me, that I had no one to call to come over, I had no one to hold, I had no one.
Everyone has moved on. Lizzy had her boyfriend who will marry her likes she wants. Stephanie is in a relationship that she fought to obtain. Jenn has move on, and fell in love all over again. Hannah moved back to her family, leaving Chico and everyone behind. Here I am, standing still, watching the world pass me by.
All I want is someone to hold, someone to fall asleep next to, someone who I can fall in love with, someone who will love me back. Yet, unlike the past I do not want to rush into anything, I want to fall in love, put everything on the line, gamble, and see if she responds.
I have become paranoid. I will check my cellphone several times a day seeing if anyone has called, and when the message board is blank, my heart sinks a little bit lower. . . a little bit lower. When I receive a text message, my stomach becomes entangled in knots, because I know that she is happy with someone who is not me. The funny thing is I don't exactly know what I'm looking for. I guess a part of me is hoping to hear her voice, telling me that she wants me back, that she can't live without me, that she loves me, and she misses being held by me.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
I was sick this weekend; it knocked me out for 3 days. This weekend I felt a way that I have not felt in a while: alone.
I've been sick before, but someone was always there to take care me, to keep me company, to hold me. But this weekend, for the first time, no one was there.
It first hits you when you notice how quite your phone is. No one calling to check up on you, no one seeing what you’re up to. The next thing you notice is at night, when your bed seems so big because you are the only one in it. That is the one thing I truly miss about relationships; sleeping together (Stephanie was over almost every night for 2 years. I hate sleeping alone). Lastly, how alone you feel when you wake up, no one there to snuggle with before you must start your day.
Now I must clarify Topher and David did help and they were there, but you know what I mean. I hate being alone.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
For the first time since the 1992 through 1994 period under President Clinton the Democrats are in the process of gaining majority in both houses. With the House confirmed (congratulations to Nancy Pelosi becoming the first women and Californian speaker of the house) and the Senate one member away (all eyes on Virgina), it looks as if the next two years are going to be a wonderful time for social programs and the mental/physical wellbeing of America and the World.
And as if this day could not get any better, God smiled upon us and gave us one more reason to smile: Donald Rumsfeld has resigned. Now here is a man that weeks ago blamed all the problems with Iraq on the Generals and other leaders fighting the war; never once taking blame for anything that has gone wrong. He needed to resign a long time ago, and I am happy he finally came to his senses and quit. Maybe now Bush will listen when we say we want our friends, our brothers and sisters, our mothers and fathers, to come home.
The G.O.P was put on notice yesterday, they are now forced to listen to what we, the American people, want. Somewhere down the road during the 12 years that they had control they lost sight of what we sent them there for, to better America. Even the country's top Republican (Schwarzenegger) took notice, and subsequently retooled his campaign, became one of the the first in his party to move to the left, support green technology and stem cell research, distance himself away from Bush, and won reelection. The key point is we, the Democrats, no longer need to move to the right.
It is a great time to be a Democrat in America.
It is a great time to be an American.
This country, if not the world, is about to change, and for the better.
Monday, November 06, 2006
It all started with Toph giving me a call right after work. He was looking to smog his car, and asked if I knew of any good places in Chico. Since I can only smog my car at home (It is registered in Loomis where Smog Check II is required [about $60]. Chris registered his car here, in Chico, where Smog Check I is required [about $40]), I asked a coworker if he knew of any good places. He recommended a place called "Smog Busters" up in Paradise.
Now this place is cool. It is a combination garage, deli, coffee shop, and antique store. So while we were waiting for them to finish on Chris's car, I took the opportunity to look around.
That is when I found these. . .
This is a sheet of 20 Marilyn Monroe stamps from 1995, unused, "mint" condition. Price: $10.50
So after some debate, I decided to buy them. When we got home I grabbed the stamp catalog I usually order from to see how much they are going for.
I was shocked.
They are going for $49.95
What a find indeed!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Last night, after work she came over. The night started with the infamous lines "we need to talk."
The key topic: age.
To be honest I always thought that I would be the first one to throw in the towel.
I was wrong.
In the end five years was to great for her (myself being 23 and she being 18). We were at a standstill, I did not want to go back to that age (as a side note I admire Toph on how well he interacts with that age group) and she did not want to jump into mine. I always thought it might work out, but after this past weekend I knew thing would be difficult.
Jenn is at that stage in life that we all went through, and most of us do not want to return to. Fresh out of High School and newly 18, the way she views the world is in the process of changing. Right now, some of her friends are moving away, getting married, joining the service, having children, and in some cases not changing at all. Every experience is new, getting drunk off of cheap beer and liquor because no parents are around, starting your own sexual discovery and identity, and deciding weather or not to enter college or the workforce. We all must go through this for this is what makes us who we are today.
Now I'm not advocating that I have figured out everything in my live, I'm just stating that I do not want to go back to that point. This weekend I saw what I left Loomis for, true childless. A group of people still stuck in the "guess who is dating who" and "guess who's fucking who" mentality of life. I saw how Jenn was struggling to give that life up for me, but in doing so I could see that she did not want to say goodbye.
Last night we parted ways. I will always care for her, she injected the joys of youth into my life. She told me that I showed her what the world has to offer, and in a couple of years she will be ready for a guy like me.
I know your reading this Jenn. I want you to know that you have touched my life. If I can tell you one last thing that would be to live life to the fullest. Understand that right now nothing is impossible. Don't let your friends walk all over you. Stand up for your self and never give up fighting for what you believe in. Realize that you are beautiful and you don't need artificial means to project that. You are entering a stage in your life that will have a lasting effect on how you perceive the world. Enjoy every moment of it, and smile while doing it.
One month, three days. Tick, tick, tick, single.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
My shift was cut today due to an over budget of +100 hours. So what am I going to do today? Relax.
Here is my plan for this afternoon:
I think I can do all this before I have to go to the costume party with Jenn.
Oh, and before I forget, remember to set your clocks back one hour tonight.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
First, I got a quasi promotion at Target. I'm now a Human Resources Team Member, which has the added benefit of teaching me about Human Resources its self. An area I've thought about entering after college. I will admit I'm enjoying the position more than I though I would. I love learning about the rules, regulations, and bullshit that go into running a multi-billion dollar company.
Second, Midterms are over! Enough said.
Third, I bumped into an ex-girlfriend of mine. Most of you remember her (it was Tracy), and it was great. We haven't seen or talked to each other in a little over three years. There we were standing by the library, chatting for two hours, catching up.
Fourth and final: the conclusion to the camping trip saga. On that wonderful night I ended the phone call with "If you want me back you have to fight for me," and to make it a little more difficult "you can't talk to me, you can't see me. I want nothing to do with you for the next couple of days." A week must have gone by. I would come home and there would be flowers in my room, pictures of the camping trip on my door, and notes on my car which would greet me when I would get off of work late at night. I racked my brain trying to figure out what I was going to do.
Do I tell her to leave?
Do I take her back?
What do I do?
Finally, I knew what I was going to do. In an extremely rare moment of forgiveness, and against every fiber in my being, I took her back. I will be honest, the death of my uncle Bill and Pat five years ago had a major roll in my decision. If this would have happened two months ago the my reaction would have been very very different. Yet, I forgave her. I don't know why, but I did. I hope I don't regret my actions.
By the way, here are the pictures from the camping trip. There are no captions because they are pretty self explanatory.
If you are wondering, the one of best part of that weekend was meeting a guy named Chris (the guy with the glass of beer). He was an independent beer distributor who happened to bring 2 pony kegs and a portable tap. The beer was ice cold Alaskan Amber (a new favorite of mine) and Bison Creek Ale. Right when he set up camp he introduced himself and told us one thing I will never forget; "Drink as much as you can. I can't finish it all!"
Nothing like camping by a lake in the mountains, with a pack of smokes, unlimited beer, good food, and great friends.
Monday, October 23, 2006
I just got out of a midterm. That's right, I got out of class at 11:01 PM.
The class: HCSV 433 "Financial Management of Healthcare Organizations"
Start time: 6:00PM
How many students were left when I finished: 5
I'm so wiped out, I can barely type.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
So here is what happened this weekend.
Monica (my sister) and I were suppose to go camping this weekend. We talked about it about a month ago and we were dead set on going. Yet, with the death of my uncle Bill, and her fear of having to drive to Chico by her self, she bailed on me. I know I did not want to see if I could work (never turn away from a work free weekend), so I decided to still go camping. Now this is where Jenn enters the story.
I met Jenn this summer. It was the night the Lizzy came over because she had been on vacation for a week. And there was Jenn, lying on Chris's bed, watching Brokeback Mountain (on a date with Topher if you will). The next day I ask Toph if we are ever going to see her again, to which he replied no (choice words omitted). A couple days later she texted messages me and we start to hang out. I never thought about a relationship with her because after being with Steph for two years, I wanted to be single for a change (that was nine months ago). And then my uncle Bill died.
Something changed inside me last week. I met with Steph before I headed down to my family. And after listening to her talk about this guy she is with and how we would never be together again, I knew I had to move on.
I arrived at my parents’ house late Thursday afternoon. This is the third funeral in under a year for my family: Great Uncle Frank, Grandpa Rogelio, and now Uncle Bill. The funny thing about all this is this is the only time we get to see the extended family, even though we all live in the Loomis-Roseville area.
But thought out the whole ordeal there was one person on my mind and in my thoughts; that was Jenn. She called me as the weekend progressed to see how I was doing, letting me know that she was there any time, with a shoulder to cry on. She kept me strong and she was by my side (in sprit) when we laid him to rest right next to my Grandma Hazel and his cousin Danny. She was there when I needed her the most.
Coming back to Chico I knew I had to ask her to be mine. I brought her flowers to work, called her when I thought about her (which was often), and called her best friend to let her know what my intentions were. The best part of all what Jenn was starting to fall for me all over again. The conclusion of all this was the camping trip. I asked her to come with me, I asked her to be my girlfriend.
I was happy; I did not feel alone anymore. The air was clean, the lake was pristine, and Toph's presence made us smile. Nothing could go wrong. I had my best friend, I had the girl of my dreams, and I met a beer distributor named Chris who told us to drink up because he brought three full kegs of beer he was not going to finish (this guy brought a portable tap and everything, he was the best camping neighbor ever!).
Sunday nigh, back in Chico, I call Jenn to tell her good night. She tells me that she is thinking of me and that she cares for me and that she starting to fall in love with me. I tell her how happy she has made me and how great this weekend was. I end the call with "be careful sweetheart" because I know how here friends get when they're drunk.
The phone rings at midnight thirty, its been 20 minutes since I told her goodnight.
"Blake, I don't deserve you."
"What do you mean sweetheart?"
"I just slept with Andrew"
"Yea. . ."
God this hurts, I need a moment . . . .
Monday, September 25, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
I read this poem during the funeral on behalf of my Aunt Ronda, its titled "The Dash"
I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of his friend.
He referred to the dates on his tombstone from the beginning . . . to the end.
He noted that first came the date of his birth and spoke of the second with tears,
but he said that what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time that he spent alive on earth,
and now only those who loved him know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own; the cars, the house, the cash.
What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard, are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left. (You could be at "dash mid-range.")
If we could just slow down enough to consider what's true and what's real,
and always try to understand the way other people feel.
And . . . be less quick to anger, and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect, and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.
How are you spending your dash? How am I spending mine?
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Monica & Katie's 8th Grade Graduation
June 4th, 2003
From Right to Left: My dad, my uncle Bill
Today my uncle Bill lost his battle against cancer. It all started with a trip to the doctor for back pain and a bad headache about a month ago, and ended up with a diagnosis of cancer of the Liver and Pancreas, as well as a mild stroke.
He was only 62. He is my dad's older brother, and Grandpa Tony's first born.
There is so much I want to say. . .but I don't type anymore.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
"What are you doing tonight"
"Nothing important, why?"
"I have two tickets to see Charlie Murphy and the Punchline, are you interested?"
So of course I sad yes. She picked me up at 5:30 and we were off to Sacramento. All in all the show was ok (Gabriel Iglesias was by far better), with the best part of his routine being the end where he talked about his stint on the Chappelle Show.
Here is a clip of what made Charlie Murphy his own, and not just Eddie Murphy's brother. Enjoy!
Monday, September 04, 2006
Please, listen to the lyrics, feel the song. If you are moved like I was, you will find your self with new respect towards Pink and her music.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
I hope my PDA will work with the network.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
But the movie "Little Miss Sunshine," has to be by far the best comedy I have seen all year. The movie is filled with jokes that at times are not funny at all (kind of like watching a train wreck in slow motion). I honestly don't remember the last time I laughed so hard at a movie. I definitely recommend this film to anyone who enjoyed "Office Space" or "The Full Monty." This is one I am definitely going to buy when it comes out on DVD.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Where to begin. . .
Well Hawai'i was a blast. As you can tell from past posting I really enjoyed discovering the other islands, most noteability the island of Moloka'i. I spent my birthday on the island of Lana'i with my dad and brother once again. And my brother and I did something that we have never done before willingly; a five mile hike throughout Poli Poli Springs State Recreation Park. Every time we go to Maui we always seem to discover something new, and this was unlike any other. The entire hike was though a pine, cypress, and redwood forest. If you were to pass out and wake up there, you would swear you were in Tahoe.
So that was Hawai'i, now on to something else; Toph, My self, and Lizzy trip to the Mormon Temple in Sacramento. Now Toph and I saw this as a once in a lifetime chance to see the inside of "the holiest spot on earth," which as many of you know is off limits to non LDS members and even some LDS members as well (LDS being "Latter-day Saints" which is short for "The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" which is long for "Mormons"). Now being Catholic I was expecting crosses everywhere, statues of saints in every corner, and Jesus right in the middle of it all. But to my surprise there was nothing of the sort, to be completely honest it didn't feel like a place of worship at all. Now I know I am being harsh by saying this, but it felt like we were walking into an exclusive country club, membership card required and all. Yet, to be honest, I know Lizzy would feel the same way if she walked into the cathedral in Sacramento. If your reading this Liz, I what you to know that I am honored that you allowed us to join you on that day, and that's the honest truth.
Snakes on a Plane kicked ass!
Let see. . .oh yea! I read in the paper today that the dems and the GOP agreed to increase the minimum wage in California finally. Come Jan. 1st 2007 it will increase by $0.75 to $7.50 an hour. But that's not all! Come Jan. 1st 2008 it will increase another $0.50 to $8.00 an hour, which would make us the top paying state in the nation (pending no other state increases their minimum wage). If your wondering the federal minimum wage is $5.15, the current California minimum wage is $6.75, and Washington state pays the highest minimum wage with $8.63 an hour.
I know I'm forgetting something. Oh, my uncle Bill (who just turned 62 on the 20th) found out that he has Pancreatic and Liver cancer, plus that bad headache he had turned out to be a stroke.
And that is my month so far.
Monday, August 14, 2006
A quick picture of the two electric car re-charging stations at the Galleria in Roseville.
What a busy week. You know after working 40+ right after getting back from vacation makes you feel like you never left. Like the vacation you took never happened. Yet, this past week was fun. I was finally able to see the documentary Who Killed The Electric Car? which was a great story that raises the question "what happened?" If you think about it, the cars were introduced, and then poof! they disappeared off the face of the planet. Sure, they only had a range of 100 miles per charge and you had to plug it in. But with current electric rates they figured out that charging your car was the same as paying $0.60 for a gallon of gas, and to take a line from the movie "The electric car is not for everyone. It can only service about 90% of the population."
Yet, the highlight of my week was going to The Punchline in Sacramento to see my favorite comedian: Mr. Gabriel Iglesias. Now I would usually rant about how funny he was, but I have a better idea.
Here is his 2003 appearance of Comedy Central Presents. Is about a half an hour, but it is well worth it.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Ok, as a side note I sent this photo to my blog via my cellphone on Friday, July 21st 2006, and it just now got posted. Why the long delay? Who knows.
Nevertheless, from left to right: My uncle Saul (pronounces sA-ull), his nephew Steven (in black), my dad (in red), my brother Robert (the head on my shoulder), and me.
I can't believe that was a week and a half ago. . . where does the time go?
(By the way, that's Maui in the foreground)
After $170 and a hour and a half ferry ride we arrived on the island. We were met with our tour guide "Van" who, in all fairness, was as large as the van he was driving. (We later found out he was recovering from anorexia, well that's what he told us :P ) Our first stop on our guided tour of the island: the Kalaupapa overlook and the sacred phallic rock. Now, instead of boring you with pictures of the lepor colony where a strict quarantine was enforced till 1969, I'm going to show you a picture that I could not resist taking.
Yep, that's my dad, on top of a giant penis. The legend is if you touch the rock you will become pregnant and give birth to a son. I hope for my dads sake that the legend does not come true.
In a nutshell the island was different than the rest. As with all islands, there is a movement associated with them. Oahu is fast paced and bright, the Big island is vast and always renewing, Kaua'i is lush and inviting, Maui is rural and slow, Lana'i is exclusive and warm, and Moloka'i is friendly and leisurely.
We toured the entire island, from one end to the other. We ate a wonderful catered lunch, toured a coffee plantation and a macadamia nut farm. We spent the entire day going from one end of the island to the other, and hopefully next year we will be able to spend a night there. It took me 13 years to reach all the major Hawaiian islands. I wonder what is next?
Friday, July 28, 2006
I don't know if you are going to get the chance to read this before you come home but I want you to know that ever since you left you have always been on my mind. You know I love you Panda, and I miss you even more. I would give anything to be with a girl like you. I know your having a blast on your trip, and I am too. There really is nothing like the beauty the Pacific has to offer.
Until we meet again, one of your boys,
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
To be honest our first week was simply a blur. A blur because having never been to the big island, we spent our four days there doing everything we could possibly do. But if there is one thing that I will never forget, and that is the time we spent at Hawai'i Volcano National Park. At first it is like every other National Park you enter, with the generic visitor center and a toll booth and the entrance collecting $10 per car. Yet you drive a little over the hill, and you are blown away by what can best be described as the beautiful sight of ongoing destruction. As you can see in the picture above and below an entire highway was wiped out in a lava flow in 2003 (plus 40% of a coastal town and several million dollar homes)
Now lava in its self is unlike anything I have ever seen. Its entire structure is mostly air, while the rest looks like a very dark glass. Walking on it is very interesting because it crunches and gives slightly, kind of like you are walking on bugs.
Now if you are wondering why they call it the big island, the answer is pretty simple; its over 4,000 square miles in size (roughly the same size of the state of Connecticut). For shits and giggles we decided to drive around the entire island in one day, well that took us 8 hours not counting stops. If you ask me it was a good first week. We went to see the worlds most active volcano, the church where my great-grandparents were married in 1916, I got a chance to tour the Kona Brewing Company's home location, plus I got to add to my pilsner glass collection. All and all I had a blast.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Wow, what a day. You have five sales floor closers (3 hard and 2 soft), 2 of which are cashier trained. Calling for back ups every five minutes, no one operator trained, all but one person under 90 days, and you are 15 minutes away from a five hour violation.
So what do you do, you head to Applebee's after to work to have a couple of beers with some coworkers. Nothing like shooting the shit with a couple of people who had it just as bad as you did.
From left to right: Allyn, Me, Brittan
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Being how I missed Toph's 22nd birthday and how I leave to Hawai'i on Tuesday, I thought it would be nice to take him out to lunch. So we waited for David to come home from work, and then we were off. Our destination: Casa Ramos
We started off with some beers (cerveza Sol, a throw back to our Mexico trip) and ordered our food. When the waitress came by and asked us if we wanted another round, I answered with and enthusiastic yes. Toph, of course said he was fine, but this being his birthday lunch I insisted. Little did I know that the waitress heard me when I sad it was Toph's birthday.
After our meal, and a couple of beers later they came out, singing. With the infectious singing they brought him a rubber chicken, a sombrero, and a camera.
This my friends is how our lunch ended. And what a lunch is was.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Sunday, June 25, 2006
It is amazing how spending time with your family will make you think.
It is amazing how just going for it will make you think.
It is amazing the stuff you think of when you do not say a word for two hours.
Thinking, spending time to analyze your thoughts. It's simply amazing what you think about.
I just went to go see Click! with my family (minus Robert because he is at a Spain reunion with a couple of buddies). It was one of those movies that shock you. Shock you because it was good, so good that your mind bursts into a million thoughts that you have been suppressing for quite some time. You start to look back at what has passed you by. You remember things that happened years ago, things you promised to do but never got fulfilled. Things you wish you had; love, companionship, true happiness. You wonder if you did one thing differently would where you are now change? If you did something differently would you be with that one person who you know would return the love you project towards them? Should you take a break and watch the world pass you by for just a little while? What do you do?
I did one thing that I never thought I would do; I went for a girl that I thought I never had a shot with. For the first time in my life I wanted a real relationship. I wanted to get to know her, spend time with her, go slow. Toph and David could not believe it, me not wanting to sleep with a girl till I got to know here. I never had a problem finding someone for that reason, and now that I look back at it all my girlfriends that I've had over the past 4 years ended up being my girlfriend after being "friends with benefits" for a couple of weeks.
But she was different. She was special. I forgot how it was to feel scared when you talk, thinking "Am I going to say the wrong thing?" Having butterflies in your stomach everything you are near her yet never wanting to leave her presents. She is the person I always thought I never had a shot with, until I got enough courage and went for it.
I spent so many years of my life living in a world thinking that so many things where beyond my grasp. But now I know that there is so much in front of me, within arms reach. Would I do things differently knowing what I know now? Hell yes, but the past is the past. I can only go forward.
I don't know how she feels about me, and in a way I'm glad about that. Its time I did something where I know its not a sure thing. To quote Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, "Is she worth it?"
Yes, yes she is.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
This past weekend I took Monica camping for the first time. Now I know what your thinking, how can she be 17 and have never gone camping? The answer is simple, my dad spent a majority of his youth camping and my mom grew up in Mexico. So when we were young we did other things for family vacations.
After picking here up in Marysville we left for Chester. Up highway 70 to 89, some of the most beautiful country you will ever see, we were there.
Our destination: Butt Valley, more specifically Butt Lake.
I would go into more detail on how it was and what we did, but I feel that the pictures say it all.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
"Blake, Toph wants to go out with Erick and I. Can you come?"
Here are the pictures to describe the time I had. Oh the fun. . .
Believe it or not this is Toph, dancing. Yes, dancing at the Bear.
I love it when you bump into people on the dance floor.
From left to right: Topher, Lindsey, Jada, and my self.
After leaving the Bear, we all headed down to the U Bar. After getting another round of drinks, and really starting to feel the effects of the Stop Light that Panda got me, I knew I needed to get a picture. So here I am with my Panda. All liquored up.
And now for everyone's favorite, the aftermath. Well we all puked, everyone did. I even managed to get a little of it on Erick! God bless him for taking care of us. It's 11:20AM and Panda and I are about to get some food. We're fine, right as rain.
Toph on the other hand is hurting. Hurting like a dog that just fought a rabid snow lion in the backwoods of Mississippi. My prayers are with him.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
"Hey! Where do you think your going!?"
I was walking past Joe's Bar, it was Veronica, and today was here 25th birthday. So what did I do? I joined the party.
Veronica and I at the University Bar (A.K.A. U Bar)
I love Chico's drink prices. I started a tab at Joe's and the U Bar. When everything was said and done I only spent $27. Not bad to liquor myself, Veronica, and Vanessa. Plus I found a new drink that I like. It's called a "Quick Fuck," and its made with Mellon, amaretto, and Irish cream. Quite tasty and only $3.50.
In the end I bounced before everyone left for LaSalles for more drinks. Happy Birthday Veronica, and thank you for letting me join the party, I had a blast.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
This is what I found; a perfect starter bike!
It's the Honda Rebel; small, light, and not to much. For only $3,500 out the door, I could totally have one by the end of the summer!
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
About two months ago, I noticed and advertisement in Newsweek from American Spirit, which happens to be the only brand I smoke. It was an offer for a FREE carton of cigarettes. Being an occasional smoker, I thought to my self "what the hell," and sent in for it.
All I had to do was mail them a copy of my driver license (both sides), a check for $6 to cover shipping and handling, a completed survey (question #1: What is your name?), and 5 upc's from any brand of cigarettes. I guess that's how they prove you are a smoker.
Well, on Monday it arrived. I will admit I was excited, and perfect timing to boot. I was about to go and buy another pack of blue. I opened the package and to my surprise there were two, yes TWO full cartons. That over $90 in American Spirits!
Here is what they sent. From right to left:
Now what am I going to do with a pack of non-filtered cigarettes?
Sunday, April 23, 2006
December 1958 (3 years before my mom was born)
March 26th, 1937 to April 23rd, 2006
I awoke to a phone call this morning. It was my mom. Being a Sunday, and Robert's 21st birthday, I thought she was calling to remind me to wish him a happy birthday. I was wrong.
"Blake, my dad just died."
That's all it took. I jumped out of bed, called in to work telling them I would be out for the next couple of days, and I was off. Topher came down with me which helped me because I knew I would not be alone.
Four years ago, when he was healthy as a horse, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. In four short years that disease robbed him of his body and mind, but not his soul.
The one thing I will always remember about my grandpa is how he was my interpreter growing up. We would go up to Weed and visit for weeks at a time. He was the only one outside of my mom and aunts that could speak english. At the time my grandma did not know any english, and Nora being young was always away at her friends houses. He loved history, geography, and always had a good joke and an amazing story about his life growing up.
I love you grandpa, I hope you know that.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Last night Panda and I went to go see Thank you for Smoking. It was a great film that all in all pushed the message that you, yes you, have to make up your own mind on the issues in front of you.
That's all I'm going to say about the movie. You have to go see it for your self. I promise you that you will not be disappointed.
Monday, April 17, 2006
You know the should invent a tripod for cell phones. I'm all the way at the end of this concrete wall. I love listening to the wind blow across the tall grass.
...What can I say, there ducks...Chico ducks...swimming in Horseshoe Lake.
Nothing special. It's a lone white oak in a sea of green.
The nice thing about Bidwell Park is it's huge. As a matter of fact it is the third largest municipal park in the US. Here is the lone Middle Trail.
I love this area and Loomis after the long rains, everything is so green and the land is full of life.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Are you ready to race?
Easter Sunday will be Monica's 17th Birthday. So to start the celebration Panda and I took her to Pluto's for lunch. When we were done with our meals I asked her what she would like to do.
As you can see she chose wisely.
What we have done today:
On a side note, Panda has never done any of the above things. Monica and I have not done anything like this since I lived at home.
All I can say is we are having a blast!
Monday, April 10, 2006
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
I came across this, a shoe and a bottle of beer. What is a shoe and a bottle of beer doing in a shoe store?
It's a pair of flip-flops with bottle opener on the bottom of each shoe! I mean come on. . . they actually made a flip-flop with a bottle opener on the bottom of the shoe! Plus their convertible to boot. I still can't believe it, but at $40 a pair, and lots of designs to chose from, I know I must get a pair.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
What's to drink?
Spring Break 2006
March 12, 2006
Location: Kitchen of our condo, Kihei, Maui.
From right to left: Robert's hand on the blender (contents: strawberry margerita) Jason, Bottle of Kona Longbord Lager, six-pack box of Kona Longbord Lager (which you can now buy here, on the mainland, at Safeway), Bottle of Maui Dark Rum